Another Eyewitness Account Of The Passion Of John G. Martin
March 19th, 2008
An anonymous eyewitness has been kind enough to add another account of Mr. Martin’s latest dipshit escapade.
Martin did leave out a minor detail: Throughout the “confrontation,” he waded in a pool of his own urine after he pissed himself silly out of fear. He looked very nervous through the whole thing; he could barely put two words together. Although, I could not tell if this was his natural state or if this was brought on by the events at the protest. There might be a potential lawsuit here in small claims court. Mr. Martin might have a legitimate claim that the ruffians owe him the cost of a new pair of pants.
March 20th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
There is nothing legitimate about John Martin, including his potential claim, not least because it wasn’t his own urine he was wading around in during the demo.
Rather, it was pus—easily mistaken for piss—resulting from that untreated case of the clap he’s had since he was just a wee lad engaging in incestuous relations with his infected mommie.
March 20th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
Glenn wrote that it was a stench of someone shitting their pants that originally led him to call out John G. Martin. This indicates that there is no merit in a law suit against the ruffians. The pants would have already been ruined, stained with shit, prior to the confrontation with the ruffians who caused John to piss himself in fear. In addition to being shit stained prior to the pissing, the pants were most likely drenched in puss due to numerous STDs that John has contracted over the years from having sex with his rhesus monkey mother. Pants were already damaged. Case dismissed.
March 21st, 2008 at 11:19 am
Good call, observer. You’re entirely correct, both logically and as a matter of law (every once in a while law and logic collide, despite the best efforts of Long Dong Silver and his cohorts, who often appear to understand neither).
As for you, Metro, your argument is clearly wrong on the facts. Assuming Martin has been afflicted with the clap for as long as you contend, he’s been literally pissing pus for decades. In Martin’s case, the distinction you tried to make between pus and piss would therefore be imaginary.