The Try-Works

Just so’s you know, there ain’t nothing wrong with Unconventional Action.  Nothing at all.

From their website.

And check out the rest of their goodies, including a fun-filled map of Denver and a DNC disruption primer.

The latest act of fucking lunacy from one of Denver’s finest halfwits.

You don’t bring a squirt gun filled with human urine to a First Amendment party. That’s the message the Arapahoe County Sheriff brought to the Centennial City Council on Monday night.

Sheriff Grayson Robinson is in favor of a new ordinance that he says is about public safety. It would bar protestors from carrying items such as metal wiring, wooden clubs, slingshots, gas masks, and squirt guns within demonstration areas.

“This ordinance, if you choose to pass it, is truly a public safety ordinance,” said Robinson.

He worries that any of those items could be used against officers trying to make sure the demonstrations are peaceful.

“This is a Super Soaker,” said Robinson, holding up a large squirt gun. “Some people that have been bent on causing harm have filled this with, again, human urine and then have sprayed this on peace officers and firefighters.”

Keep reading.

Nice to know the spirit of Barney Fife’s not dead.  Seriously, that they let this dimwit motherfucker walk around armed is all the argument against gun control one should ever need.  If this article is any evidence, this fucking idiot shouldn’t be allowed to operate anything more dangerous than an electric toothbrush.

Or, y’know, he’s a fucking liar.

Here’s the thing, Mr. Fife, no Super Soaker has ever been used for any such thing in any political protest in America.  Not once.  Not against firefighters or peace officers.  Never.

So which is it?  Are you a fucking liar, or are you just possessed of the IQ of a lump of pigshit?

Update:  Glenn Spagnuolo and Tom Mestnik of Recreate 68 expressed the same point much more eloquently on Peter Boyles this morning, and Mr. Boyles has claimed he’ll have the idiot on the air to defend his moron allegation.  Don’t let up on the asshole, gentlemen, he made an uncategorical claim that Super Soakers have been used to spray urine on cops and firefighters — make the lying little shit provide some evidence.

Update II:  Where the fuck is the libertarian crowd when this kind of fucking nonsense goes through, by the way?  Where are the shrill missives from Harsanyi-land, the outcry from Jon Caldara?  Hell, even Peter Boyles himself was accepting the concept as plausible.  I mean, this is up there with 911 truthseeker stupidity.  Or, for that matter, protesters spitting on homebound Vietnam soldiers.  Take ten seconds out of your busy lives of pimping Lasik surgery, gentlemen, and fucking think about the logistics of doing something as awesomely fucking useless as carrying a bag of shit or a leaky squirt gun through a jostling crowd in August heat just on the off chance you’ll get close enough to a heavily armed cop to be able to dig it out of said pack and actually use it on them.  Right before they beat you into a bloody puddle.

Can you imagine anything fucking dumber, more irrelevant, or less likely to succeed?  Y’know, besides Mr. Robinson’s career in law enforcement?

When authority becomes despotic, citizens have an absolute right to resistance.  It was exactly this situation that faced the original American rebels, and it is exactly this situation that faces dissenters today.  We are in a condition in which the First Amendment freedoms do not work effectively.  Citizens have the right to speak, assemble, and protest freely until their actions begin to have a subversive effect on unresponsive authorities.  It can be expressed as an axiom: at the point at which protest becomes effective, the state becomes repressive.

. . .

Where this issue arose most sharply in 1968 was in our attempt to obtain permits for marching, rallying, and sleeping in the parks.  Nothing should be more routine under the First Amendment than the issuing of permits.  This is a normal city function conducted under vague municipal statutes that are rarely tested in the courts.  Permits are supposed to be used to arrange and facilitate the expression of citizens’ views, and city officials are supposed to limit such requests only to protect public safety, transportation, and so forth.

.  .  .

Our case demonstrated the arbitrary political use of permits.  It was a casebook example of the difference between real and empty constitutional rights . . . So officials proposed meaningless rights of assembly.  They rejected the proposed assembly at the Ampitheater on the grounds of “security” and “traffic congestion.”  They rejected the Festival of Life by declaring that during the week of the Convention they would enforce an 11 P.M. curfew as well as local ordinances.  In return, they offered a march through the Loop and a bandshell rally during the daylight hours of nomination day.  Rennie’s reply was that such a rally, instead of promoting protest, would have underscored people’s helplessness in the face of a great national emergency.

.  .  .

The government made the familiar argument that we had framed our demands in such a way that they were “nonnegotiable,” that we were not willing to compromise.  We replied, in Rennie’s words, that “we would negotiate anything but the Constitution,” and, if that document was suspended in our case, we had what the Reverend Jesse Jackson testified was a “moral permit” to march anyway.  We did not want or need a permit to be surrounded helplessly in a bandshell by troops.  Instead, we would issue ourselves a permit based on rights that the government could not legitimately suspend under any circumstances.

Tom Hayden – Trial

You Try-Works readers do know how I love Mr. Fish.

Long-time R68 nemesis Charlie Brown’s doing everything he can to make nice with the peaceful, non-threatening, irrelevant protesters over at T.A.R.D.

Students at a planned “Tent State University” may get a lesson in Denver geography, after a city council person proposes moves them to a different location at night.

“Tent State” is expected to draw 20 thousand anti-war protesters to Denver’s City Park, where they plan to camp out, listen to music and lectures.

The only problem is that city rules say parks must close, and everyone has to be out, at 11:00 p.m. — meaning 20 thousand people may have no where to stay.

The protest organizer Adam Jung says the common sense solution is to let people stay in the park. He says that allows event organizers to control security and control who comes in and out.

But city councilman Charlie Brown says the city has never allowed anyone to camp at City Park, including the Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts. But Brown agrees you can’t simply dump 20,000 people on the streets. So he’s proposing that protesters camp out at the Stock Show grounds which are close to town.

Keep reading.

Hell, maybe the city could just make the stock grounds the free speech zone, and then T.A.R.D. wouldn’t have to bother anyone.  Everybody wins, nobody’s upset.  If you think about it, then T.A.R.D. wouldn’t even have to protest.

They could just do a little cocaine and go jogging.  (Scroll down to Kevin’s comment.  And, for God’s sake, mute your compute before clicking on the link,)

By the way, can you think of a better place for a bunch of fucking sheep than the stock grounds?

“Dear Miss,” he could have told her, “we will be fighting for forty years.”

– Norman Mailer, Miami and the Siege of Chicago

And I should be fucking pistol-whipped for not having these up earlier.  My apologies, gentle(wo)men.  Don’t y’all never stop.

Happy 4th of July, Enjoy the Barbecue!!!

Why We Say . . .Fuck the Troops

With this kind of spirit in town, do you really think anyone’s gonna miss T.A.R.D. come August?

Thanks to the Try-Works’ extensive network of sources, following is an email sent by Adam Jung(k) to his fellow T.A.R.D.’s just prior to their last meeting.

Needless to say, everything after “Hey All” is a lie.  I mean literally everything.  The Jill to whom he refers, for instance, has been an activist in Denver for ten years, has been working her ass off in local communities, and is trusted by just about everyone.  Adam, on the other hand, is about fifteen seconds from being chained to a tree and horsewhipped.

But let’s get it started.

Hey All,

I’ve been thinking about this alot over the last few days.  I’m posting it because I won’t be at Wednesday’s meeting.  We have less then 6 weeks till the Convention and I can’t spend three hours discussing R68, which is what the last three meetings I’ve attended have entailed.  So this is my take on the Sunday march.

You mean you idiots have been spending your meetings whining, and not getting anything done?  I’ll try not to swallow my cigarette in shock.

- Logistically its a nightmare.  Many people will just be getting into Denver the morning of the 24th and I think a 9:30 start time is too early. Following the rally, if we are alotted equal say and speakers, a situation will be created forcing us to “compete” will R68 for people.  We have events planned that afternoon and evening, and so does R68.  And we will be farther from our “homebase” then R68 at the rally (by about 12 blocks.)

In other words, you don’t have your shit together.  Again, cigarette/shock.

- We will confirm alot of people’s assumptions that we were simply created to put a friendlier face out there for R68.  Regardless of promises, this march WILL be an R68 march.  R68 claims everything.  Jill has contacted some of our artists in what can only be considered sabotage, including repeatedly contacting Son of Nun.  They’ve claimed Doc’s Place and are still claiming United for Peace and Justice and CODEPINK in their “e-flashs.”  And they are claiming the march right now.

Yeah, of course this’ll be an R68 march.  Y’know, in that it will be coordinated by R68, because, well, they’ve actually been coordinating it for a year and a fucking half, while you’ve been doing whatever it is you do.

- The music festival will be wrecked.  I’ve spoken with Jamie from the Flobots a lot about this.  Just today they were offered a show at Red Rocks during the DNC.  I understand they are rejecting it, but these offers will increase.  With their rock solid opposition to R68, it’s highly possible they will drop out and play another, un-related event. Rage Against the Machine has already stated they are not interested in being associated with R68.  Wayne Kramer thinks their mere existance is ridiculus.  I think it’s safe to assume Against Me! and Pearl Jam, nethier of which have confirmed yet, but it’s looking likely, will not play ethier.  Both bands are backing Obama.

Horseshit, top to bottom.  But, speaking of not having their shit together, let’s not forget that Mr. Jung(k) doesn’t even have a place for his bands to play.  Right?  The only thing he has is a conditional permit for City Park.  If any of these poor fuckers actually sign up with Tent State, there’s a real good possibility they’ll end up playing on a Colfax sidewalk.

- We lose organizational support.  I don’t think it’s a secret why UFPJ is hesitant to join ARD.  We don’t have our shit together on this march and we’re entertaining the idea of a march with R68.  I think (Zoe, correct me if I’m wrong)the CODEPINK Parade may be scrapped now for the same reason.  If you go to the Backbone Campaign’s website I think you can agree they will not march under R68 eithier.  Not to mention all the individuals R68 has already turned off, including the delegates that I thought we wanted marching with us.

Groups don’t want to join you because they don’t think you have your shit together?  Where’d that cigarette go?

- Funding.  No one’s going to give to a group affiliated with R68. Couple that with the loss of the bands (who are securing the $60,000 necessary for the stage and sound,) were are we going to get funding?

You know, usually I try not to rag on typos and whatnot, as I myself am prone — particularly after a cocktail or two — to the occasional lapse in grammar.  But one has to ask: this little asshole’s really a college student?

- Our message is lost and media turns against us.  I’ve spoke with Judith at UFPJ and she framed it best.  Up until recently, R68 has held a hedgemony on messaging, and their messaging has been horrible.  We’ve broke that. ARD or coalition groups have been receiving the majority of coverage both locally and nationally.  The Nation’s feature next month is on ARD members, the Flobots put alot of ARD members, banners, and messaging in their music video that will drop on Mtv in a couple weeks, and almost all of the coverage has been positive.  If we hand what we’ve built back over to R68, we’re screwed again.

You’ve turned around R68’s “hedgemony” in messaging you say?  That’s funny, I go to R68’s website and look at July’s updates, and I see articles from The Denver Post, The Rocky Mountain News, The New York Times, Fox 31 Colorado, 9News, The LA Times, and USA TODAY, as well as nigh daily interviews on two local talk radio shows.

And then I search, say, “alliance for real democracy” on Google News, and I get, well, four articles, none of them in July.

Great media work, ace.  Hell, you fuckers ought to send me a case of Scotch.  I seem to be the only person in Denver talking about you at all.

- You make some of our lives hell.  We’ve met with City Officials, the Mayor, Councilmembers, the Police, DOJ, Neighborhood Associations, East High, and the Zoo.  This have ALL been positive.  The Police, the Zoo, some city officials, and East High all want us to be allowed to camp.  Alot of it has to do with our positive messaging and willingness to work with these institutions.  East High is even writing off the 8th period on Wednesday to allow students to attend the Flobots portion of the concert, presenting some of our speakers at the school, allowing field trips to Tent State, and going to bat for us with the parents.  An association with R68 will destroy all of this.  They believe us when I say we’re not with R68, and are thankful.  Just look at Concilwoman Madison’s quote last week in the Post.

Well, at least he’s got it together with the junior high school students.

Hey, maybe they’ll let him hold his concerts in their auditorium.

Y’know, since as of right now, he ain’t got anywhere else to put the bands he may or may not have.

- There is no trust.  The R68 members now coming to our meetings (wtf!?) have broken trust time and again.  Ben did it with Dead Prez, and many of you saw his amazing writing skills.  Jill is contacting as many of our artists as she can causing wonderful conversations between some of us and the artists, and apparently plans to disrupt the neighborhood meetings.  Seriously, wtf!?  She also bcc’s Ben Whitmore and who knows who else every time she emails us, resulting in more wonderful emails sent to a few of us.  If you’re not familiar with him, here’s a link to his blog:

http://tryworks.org

You’ll find wonderful articles written on myself, Claire, Ben, Zoe, and T.A.R.D. as he loves to call us.  Maybe you’ll recognize the usual R68 commentors below the articles.

Sue me.

And finally, a major WTF!?  Many of the organizations in ARD refused to work with Tent State when we were associated with R68.  Now people are arguing to be associated with R68.  It’s more then frustrating.

And that’s the kicker, of course.  T.A.R.D. is falling apart, and the reason they’re falling apart is because they don’t have their shit together.  Right now they exist as a kind of group therapy session, spending every Wednesday evening venting hurt feelings and licking their wounds.  They’ve already canceled what was supposed to be their big march, and they don’t even have a place to hold the events they stole from R68.

Again, Mr. Jung(k) can claim whatever he wants, but the only thing he has is a conditional permit for City Park.  And hell, even if by some miracle the city grants it to him, that means his little shindig’ll be located four fucking miles from the Pepsi Center.

Good luck with that.   Given what I’ve seen of your organizational skills so far, I’ll be fucking amazed if there are more than a hundred people at City Park at any one time during the DNC.

And that’s if every group aligned with you hasn’t already jumped ship by August.

Which, from your email, and from what I’m hearing offline, looks to be the case.

Adam Jung,
National Organizing Committee,
Tent State University,
816.349.7385
adam@tentstate.org
http://tentstate.org

National Organizing Committee, you say?

No offense, but I’m betting you ain’t gonna retain that position for long, Mr. Jung(k).

In case you haven’t noticed, I try to live by the words of dear Alice Roosevelt Longworth, daughter of my least favorite US president.  As she said, “if you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.”

But, as much as I do enjoy finding unkind things to say about T.A.R.D., there are groups working in Denver that manage to cut through the overwhelming contempt that washes over me whenever I contemplate that useless, bloated, ahistorical, drooling beast known euphemistically as the antiwar movement.

What I mean is that as long as there are groups like RAIMD and Unconventional Denver out there, all hope ain’t lost.

From the Denver Post.

In Denver this weekend, a group of anarchists who have pledged to disrupt the Democratic National Convention will hold a secret action camp to learn about medical training and legal rights and to practice nonviolent tactics.

“We don’t want history to remember the Democratic National Convention in Denver as something that went smoothly,” said Tim Simons with the self-described anarchist group, Unconventional Denver.

“We want people to know there was dissent and people spoke up,” he said.

In the meantime, local governments in the region are inking contracts to send hundreds of law enforcement officers into Denver during the last week of August to work the convention.

Aurora will send nearly half its force to Denver, Jefferson County will ship more than 100 deputies and Arapahoe County is expecting to add 100.

Dozens of other agencies are sending officers: Colorado State Patrol, Arvada, Wheat Ridge, Englewood, Littleton, Colorado Springs, El Paso County, Douglas County and many others.

“We want to make sure we are adequately staffed for the number of people who are going to be here,” said Sonny Jackson, a Denver police spokesman. He would not disclose what agencies will be participating or how many officers are expected.

“We respect everyone’s First Amendment rights,” Jackson said. “We hope that the citizens will come in and conduct themselves in a law-abiding and responsible manner.”

With the contingent of local officers and federal agents and the money being spent on security from a $50 million federal grant, protesters worry about possible outcomes.

“The police are gearing up for confrontation,” said Glenn Spagnuolo, organizer with the protest group Re-create 68. “Police are getting dressed up for a fight, and if there isn’t one, they will create one.”

He said he has not heard of any of the protest groups planning violence against the police or citizens.

Plan for disruption

Numerous anti-war groups have announced their intention to demonstrate in Denver during the Aug. 25-28 convention, but most have promised peaceful actions. The language of the anarchist groups is more confrontational. Unconventional Denver is part of a national group of anarchists planning to descend on Denver.

The group says it will engage in nonviolent direct action and has called for protesters “to engage in a broad variety of tactics to disrupt fundraising events and prevent Democratic delegates from putting on the spectacle they claim as democracy,” according to the group’s website.

Unconventional Denver wants to shut down, disrupt or delay the convention; storm events; and “ensure that the DNC is a thing of rowdy beauty.”

The website suggests activists “hold” intersections to strand delegates in buses and “swarm” streets to force police to retreat.

The group has posted a schedule of events for certain days:

Sunday, the group wants to reclaim public space in the city. Monday, there will be actions against parties or restaurant outings and a “black bloc” gathering against capitalism. Tuesday, the group wants to shut down access to the Pepsi Center. And Wednesday and Thursday, there will be “creative actions” to address specific issues such as global warming, racism and criminal injustice.

“The streets will be a wild and creative place,” said Simons, a 25-year-old graphic artist who grew up in Boulder and lives in San Francisco.

Simons is helping organize Denver’s group, which meets weekly at a Colfax Avenue coffee shop. He wouldn’t disclose the size of the group.

For six days starting Saturday, they will meet at an undisclosed location to discuss actions and learn how to tend to one another’s medical needs and how to legally monitor the police reactions.

Simons says there will be street theater, “guerrilla gardening” and ways for alternative forms of media to get out their message.

A group called the Colorado Street Medics will be on hand throughout the protests to provide immediate medical service, said Zoe Williams, who is coordinating the expected 120 volunteer street medics.

“We don’t want to see a dark, evil atmosphere descending on Denver,” Simons said. “We want a festive atmosphere that celebrates grassroots movements.”

History of violence

Yet, historically, law enforcement officials have blamed anarchists for violence in protests.

In 2003, Colorado Springs Police Chief Luis Velez said, officers used tear gas on war protesters after anarchists from Denver disrupted the peaceful rally with violent acts — blocking an intersection and banging on cars.

Anarchists took center stage in Seattle during the 1999 World Trade Organization meeting, when protesters smashed shop windows and police shot tear gas and rubber bullets. The National Guard and state patrol were called in to quell the chaos.

“I was there,” said Simons, who blamed police force for the trouble. “We were standing up for democracy.”

Simons said the real message of what people want will not be heard in the Pepsi Center or in the Democratic Party’s platform; it will come from what is being said in the streets.

“Politicians and the people in power should be afraid of the power of the people,” he said. “That is the sign of a healthy democracy.”

Well fucking said, Mr. Simons.  Tonight I’ll raise a glass to and yours.  In the eternal words of Herman Melville:

Gulp down your tears and hie aloft to the royal-mast with your hearts; for your friends who have gone before are clearing out the seven-storied heavens, and making refugees of long pampered Gabriel, Michael, and Raphael, against your coming. Here ye strike but splintered hearts together — there, ye shall strike unsplinterable glasses!

Of course, if you’re surprised, you’re an idiot.

Arizona Sen. John McCain did not bother to show up for Wednesday’s Senate votes on whether to amend the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act to absolve George Bush of responsibility for initiating an illegal warrantless wiretapping program and to provide retroactive immunity to the telecommunications corporations that violated the privacy of their customers in order to collaborate with a lawless president.

But that’s OK, because Illinois Sen. Barack Obama cast the votes that McCain would have.

Keep reading.

I’m hurt, dear reader.  In the interest of unity, fair play, and good sportsmanship, I took time out of my busy schedule to invite Claire Ryder to a round of friendly, leisurely sport-drinking, and not only did she not respond, she sent the following out to a few hundred of her closest friends.

Just in case anyone wants to know, Mr.. Whitmer is part of the R68 coalition, and is one of their biggest supporters.  In case anyone was wondering about solidarity, this is how to build it, eh?

Adam and Zoë are also frequent targets.

Funnily enough, I am not even part of the Alliance.

Read this and maybe people will reconsider about working with R68.

And unlike some people do, I have no one bcc’d on this.  Funnily enough, when you bcc someone on an email, then they stupidly hit reply all, then everyone knows who is bcc’d.

Funnily enough, I have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about, dear.  I ain’t a part of the R68 coalition.  I am a supporter, of course, but I don’t represent anything here other than my own half-formed, usually incoherent abhorrences (apologies to Ed Dorn).

It’s a fucking blog, ma’am, a little space of my own to bang out ten minutes of hate between cocktails, it’s sure as shit not a mission statement.  As import goes, it’s somewhere between couch therapy and masturbating into a condom.

That said, Ms. Ryder, I seem to recall an incident not too long ago where you posted personal information about an R68 member on a website that gets a whole hell of a lot more traffic than this one.

I just took it as a sign that you wanted to play.

If you’re like me, dear reader, you’ve been pondering exactly why CodePink, United for Peace and Justice, Tent State and the rest of T.A.R.D. have taken it upon themselves to do everything they can fucking dream up to decimate local organizing around the DNC here in Denver.

As some of you have pointed out, it’s simply what these corporatized activist organizations do.  Right?  They blow into town, systematically plunder the work that’s been built at the grassroots level, crush local perspectives, drown out voices from communities of color, and ensure whatever so-called oppositional points of view left are pristine, lily-white, and entirely fucking useless.  It’s business as usual for these assholes.

But I’m curious as to why.  What do these little shits have to gain?  Or, a better question, given their nature: what purpose do they serve?

Well, I’ve got an answer.  And I’m gonna precede that answer with the following from Baudrillard’s discussion of Watergate in Simulacra and Simulation:

The denunciation of scandal always pays homage to the law. And Watergate above all succeeded in imposing the idea that Watergate was a scandal — in this sense it was an extraordinary operation of intoxication: the reinjection of a large dose of political morality on a global scale. It could be said along with Bourdieu that: “The specific character of every relation of force is to dissimulate itself as such, and to acquire all its force only because it is so dissimulated”; understood as follows: capital, which is immoral and unscrupulous, can only function behind a moral superstructure, and whoever regenerates this public morality (by indignation, denunciation, etc.) spontaneously furthers the; order of capital, as did the Washington Post journalists.

But this is still only the formula of ideology, and when Bourdieu enunciates it, he takes “relation of force” to mean the truth of capitalist domination, and he denounces this relation of force as itself a scandal: he therefore occupies the same deterministic and moralistic position as the Washington Post journalists. He does the same job of purging and reviving moral order, an order of truth wherein the genuine symbolic violence of the social order is engendered, well beyond all relations of force, which are only elements of its indifferent and shifting configuration in the moral and political consciousnesses of people.

All that capital asks of us is to receive it as rational or to combat it in the name of rationality, to receive it as moral or to combat it in the name of morality. For they are identical, meaning they can be read another way: before, the task was to dissimulate scandal; today, the task is to conceal the fact that there is none.

Watergate is not a scandal: this is- what must be said at all cost, for this is what everyone is concerned to conceal, this dissimulation masking a strengthening of morality, a moral panic as we approach the primal (mise-en-)scene of capital: its instantaneous cruelty; its incomprehensible ferocity; its fundamental immorality — these are what are scandalous, unaccountable for in that system of moral and economic equivalence which remains the axiom of leftist thought, from Enlightenment theory to communism. Capital doesn’t give a damn about the idea of the contract which is imputed to it: it is a monstrous unprincipled undertaking, nothing more. Rather, it is “enlightened” thought which seeks to control capital by imposing rules on it. And all that recrimination which replaced revolutionary thought today comes down to reproaching capital for not following the rules of the game. “Power is unjust; its justice is a class justice; capital exploits us; etc.” — as if capital were linked by a contract to the society it rules. It is the left which holds out the mirror of equivalence, hoping that capital will fall for this phantasmagoria of the social contract and fulfill its obligation towards the whole of society (at the same time, no need for revolution: it is enough that capital accept the rational formula of exchange).

In an admittedly reductive nutshell, then, that’s where I see T.A.R.D.  The members therein don’t actually oppose the war any more than the Watergate scandal opposes Capital.  Instead, they provide moral cover for the population at large.

We cluster-bombed civilians?
Don’t blame me, I adhere to solely non-violent principles.

US contractors raped prepubescent boys to garner information?
Don’t blame me, I lit a candle.

More than a million civilians have been exterminated since 2003?
Don’t blame me, I wore pink.

In fact, if you think about it, the members of T.A.R.D. are necessary for the furtherance of the war.  If they didn’t exist, the state would have to invent them.  Without them to provide that moral cover, to help bridge the cognitive dissonance inevitably caused by a culture that prattles on about human rights while committing a fucking holocaust, someone might actually do something to, well, stop the war.

In other words, CodePink, United for Peace and Justice, and the rest of T.A.R.D. are as necessary to ensuring Iraq remains an abattoir as .223 rounds.  They function as an ideological Free Speech Zone, mandating the limits of what is allowable in protest, and restricting dissent.  They serve to provide a safe, State-sanctioned zone for the exercise of limited rights, and to express a purely symbolic opposition to the war.

The only problem being, of course, that the war isn’t symbolic.  And neither are those one million and more dead Iraqis.

They’re just fucking dead.

And, in part, they have T.A.R.D. to thank for it.

Update:  On cue, your T.A.R.D. representative, in the Rocky Mountain News.

The city of Denver has conditionally approved permits for 1,000 local Democrats to host an Aug. 26 Democratic National Convention “watching party” on a big-screen TV at City Park and - just a Frisbee throw away - an encampment for 20,000 to 50,000 war protesters vowing to “Confront the Democrats” for failing to use their control of Congress to cut Iraq war funding.

“How fun will a Denver Democratic convention watching party be with 50,000 protesters all around protesting us?” asked Julie Kronenberger, a Denver County Democratic Party member working to obtain city permits for their night event at City Park Pavilion and adjacent band shell.

But leaders on both sides of the political divide believe they can find common ground at the park.

“I think it’s great. I think the dialogue between the people at Tent State University and the (local) Democrats will probably be more democratic than anything that’s going on inside the convention,” said Adam Jung, chief organizer for Tent State, which describes itself as “a positive, youth-led initiative to fund education instead of war.”

“We’re not there to chastise rank-and-file Democratic Party members. Many of them probably agree with our position on the war,” said Jung.

He said the young protesters’ beef is with national Democratic Party leaders, including presumptive presidential nominee Barack Obama.

Jung fears Obama is making a “run to the right” and wavering on vows to withdraw troops from Iraq 16 months after taking office.

Yet, he added, “I can’t foresee us doing anything that would make (local Dems’) night unpleasant. In fact, I think they would be welcome to check out what we’re doing. I think they might have a lot of fun.”

Keep reading.

Fucking pig.

And I mean that quite literally.  As Glenn Spagnuolo alludes in an interview with Peter Boyles this morning, Adam Jung(k) of Tent State (and a founding member of T.A.R.D.) is working with the city to draw people away from downtown Denver’s Civic Center Park, which is home base for the protests and protesters.

I’ve been amused to discover that word has it Ms. Claire Ryder of the Denver Greens is a bit of a drinker.

Okay, word has it that she’s known for appearing falling down fucking drunk at organizational meetings, refusing to appear in public without her ubiquitous Sprite bottle full of vodka, and, to the great dis-ease of all around her, not above the casual groping of whatever young man happens to be in reaching distance of her greasy paws.  Indeed, there is some speculation that her alcoholism might be responsible for her recent selling out to the corporate activists over at CodePink and United for Peace and Justice.

But, you know me, dear reader.  I am nothing if not a believer in unity.  As such, I would like to offer this gesture of friendship to Ms. Ryder:
You’re a tippler, dear, as am I.  There’s nothing I enjoy so much as a good cocktail, and I am a great believer in the sacred visionary qualities of strong liquor.  As such, I’d like to challenge you to an old-fashioned drinking contest.

We’ll meet up at one of the few little dives left in this fast-gentrifying hellhole — some joint lacking in natural light, where the entire human heart can be beheld in all its obscene glory — and then, dear, it’s just me and you.  I’ll let you pick the drink as long as I can pick the music — Billy Joe Shaver, naturally – and whoever hits the fucking floor first loses.

If you win, I’ll shut down the Try-Works.  Immediately, and without protest.

But if I win, if I win, you tell me Adam Jung(k)’s badge number.

Sound fair?

Update: I’m behind the times, as several readers have been emailing me to point out.  Ms. Ryder no longer gets her checks from CodePink, but from the Denver Greens.  Post fixed.  In my defense I have only to offer that when it comes to sleazy, neo-cop, middling, liberal, leftist groups, I never could tell ‘em the fuck apart.

Which ought tell you all you need to know, eh?

A pig is a pig is a pig, and T.A.R.D. are fucking pigs.

Remember this post, where I noted that the geniuses at The Alliance for Real Democracy (T.A.R.D) had filched their front page graphic from Westword?

The graphic which I uploaded so’s we could still chuckle over their corny little thievery when they deleted it?

Well, they’ve deleted it.

Keep reading, T.A.R.D.  I’ll be roasting your asses well into August.

But Try-Works commenter Puck beat me to the punch.

TARD is basically made up of the large, liberal national protest bureaucracies like UFPJ, CodePink, etc. They are the big corporations of the protest movement. And, naturally, they are organizations that quash independent, grassroots, local, spontaneous, radical activism. They quash anything that doesn’t follow their script. Along with this, they make everything they touch bland, safe, boring, rehearsed. TARD is a last minute attempt to co-opt the work that R68 has been working on for over a year. These liberal, national groups show up in town and find a few faces willing to sell out the local community for a few bucks. They also exploit existing splits in the local scene in order to move in. One really has to wonder about the intelligence of those who are are selling out the Denver activist scene to get paid positions. They sell out for next to nothing — it isn’t like UFPJ or CodePink are going to have any use for these Denver sellouts after August. After August, these national groups will cut them loose. In the end, the sellouts are just fucking themselves over by wrecking the Denver activist community. I don’t see how these sellouts can show their faces in public.

My advise to the sellouts: You’ve really fucked up for nothing. You ought to cut your losses. You should come hat in fucking hand back and talk to the right people while they are still willing to listen.

Now, granted, I haven’t really been, how shall I put it, blinded by the brilliance of those shining stars over at The Alliance for Real Democracy (T.A.R.D.). But, even as underwhelmed as I’ve been, I couldn’t help but be a little thunderstruck at the sheer ineptitude evidenced by whoever’s doing the organizing.

Take, for instance, this latest article in the Rocky Mountain News, wherein Mr. Jung(k) pontificates on the lengthy and deliberate preparations he and his cohorts have made in anticipation of 50,000 protesters (their number).

I’d imagine, for instance, that restrooms would be foremost in Mr. Jung(k)’s mind.

His plan?

Jung hopes the city will provide the outhouses.

Really? Hopes? Really? Not having conversations with the city about coordinating the outhouses, he just kinda hopes they’ll, like, appear?

Well, that’s understandable, I suppose. I kinda hope to see Mr. Jung(k) rolled down Colfax in one of those very same outhouses.

Moving on, what about, say, showers?

He plans to ask churches and like-minded Denverites to welcome folks in for showers.

Now that one had me folded up in my chair, laughing. Just imagine, if you will, dear reader, 50,000 motherfuckers milling around downtown, knocking on doors and begging showers.

Naw, that shouldn’t be a problem.

And the best part is that Mr. Jung(k) hasn’t, as of yet, asked anyone to help out with showers. He only plans to.

Hell, we’ve got almost two whole months until the convention. Take your time, Mr. Jung(k).

But, anyway, now that we’ve squared away the facilities, what about food?

Never fear, Mr. Jung(k)’s on top of his game.

As for food, the group will issue participants a list of recommended organic, enviro-friendly local restaurants.

Good. Fucking. God.

Might I suggest, Mr. Jung(k), that you might be better served restricting your logistical talents to endeavors more suited to your capabilities?

Like, I don’t know, stoned trips to Chuck E. Cheese?

Never fear, though. There’s one area that Mr. Jung(k) has down cold.

“Our main argument is, if people are allowed to camp, is that we retain control over the entire event,” he said. “We’re bringing in professional security, so we can direct the energy and we can keep it safe and . . . a very positive event.”

Yep, even I’ll concede that Mr. Jung(k) should have no problem arranging security.

After all, I’ll bet he knows plenty of cops.

The Alliance for Real Democracy has a website. And I couldn’t help but take note of the dominant graphic on their main page (uploaded and displayed below so it’ll still be around when the T.A.R.D.’s delete it):

See, it may be just me, but it seems to bear a certain, shall we say, resemblance, to the banner graphic on Westword’s Demver blog.

Which is a pretty good indication of T.A.R.D.’s modus operandi, ain’t it? Cajole your pasty, narrow-eyed ass into other organizations, lift their ideas, and then start up your own little shindig on their backs.

Hell, with activists like these, who needs cops?

Examples?

Well, anybody notice any similarity between this event, just posted on T.A.R.D.’s website, and this one, which Recreate 68 has been planning for a year and a half?

Even better, however, was T.A.R.D.’s poaching of MC5 guitarist, Wayne Kramer, from Recreate 68’s musical line-up.

What makes that so particularly funny is, of course, that the reason Recreate 68 approached Wayne Kramer is that MC5 kicked off the original 1968 Democratic National Convention protests with the mighty “Kick out the Jams”.

Meaning that, while T.A.R.D. is whining to any journalist who will listen about Recreate 68’s name, the hypocritical motherfuckers are explicitly trying to co-opt their theme.

More to come. Much, much more. One doesn’t get handed targets quite this fucking stupid, bloated with self-appreciation, and full of shit every day. I am gonna be having me some fucking fun.