The Try-Works

Yeah, just try to imagine that.

Anyway, Michael Roberts has an update in today’s Westword about the Passion of Heath Urie.

Class conflict: The October 18, 2007, Message revolved around Boulder Daily Camera reporter Heath Urie, who was prevented from entering a class taught on the CU-Boulder campus by firebrand instructor Ward Churchill. Back then, neither Urie, who pressed charges against Churchill supporter Josh Dillabaugh after the incident, nor the infamous prof commented on the matter. But a few weeks after charges against Dillabaugh were dropped, both are weighing in — and their viewpoints have absolutely zero in common.

Urie expresses regret that he became part of the story: “That’s something you never want to happen.” Yet he thinks he and his photographer, Joshua Lawton, acted in a professional manner throughout, and he defends his decision to call the police after his forcible ejection. In his view, “When somebody lays a hand on you, that’s when they cross the line.” He’s just as adamant that the accounts of the episode that emanated from Churchill’s camp bear no relation to reality. “They’re exaggerated, blown out of proportion and just inaccurate — and I stand for the opposite things as a reporter,” he says.

Churchill begs to differ. Via e-mail, he argues that charges against Dillabaugh should never have been filed in the first place, especially considering his contention that Urie initially identified his alleged attacker as someone else entirely: TryWorks blogger Benjamin Whitmer.

After the authorities declined to prosecute Dillabaugh, Whitmer suggested the Camera pony up an I’m-sorry, and Churchill concurs. “Apologies are owed by the Camera not only to Whitmer, and even more so to Dillabaugh, but to everybody in the room that night — including yours truly — and to its readers,” he writes as part of a Q&A at blogs.westword.com/latestword. “Any reputable newspaper would already have issued them. But, hey, we’re talking about the Daily Camera. So neither the word ‘reputable’ nor the word ‘newspaper’ really applies.” Churchill strikes the same chord when he’s asked how the Camera has treated him in general. “Truth is,” he responds, “I’ve received better treatment from the Klan.”

Guess that’s his burning cross to bear.

The rest.

Mr. Roberts also provides his full exchange with Ward Churchill and myself in his blog. As well as a quote from David Lane, who cuts right to the heart of the matter.

When contacted for his comments, David Lane, the attorney who represented Dillabaugh, was brief and to the point. “The charges against Josh were dismissed as they should have been because he never assaulted anyone,” Lane wrote. But Whitmer was much more expansive in the following e-mail exchange, conducted earlier in January.

Westword: What’s your understanding of the reason charges against Josh Dillabaugh were dropped?

Benjamin Whitmer: My understanding is the charges were dropped because the case couldn’t be proved — i.e., Mr. Dillabaugh’s lawyer talked to the DA, told them the Camera had a longstanding animosity towards Mr. Churchill and that if the case went to court, he’d run roughshod over Urie. Granted, that came to me secondhand, but that’s the way I heard it.

WW: Were you surprised by this decision? Or was it pretty much what you expected?

BW: It’s exactly what I expected. And what I’ve been predicting since charges were filed. I’ve been calling Heath Urie a liar from the outset, and that wasn’t hyperbole. He’s a lying little prick with a monstrous sense of entitlement. This was his attempt at retribution after going batshit when he was prohibited from entering the classroom. The only thing fucking dumber than Urie’s filing charges is the other lying asshole over at the Camera, [city editor] Matt Sebastian, implying [in a public statement] that Urie had been physically harmed. I’ve received rougher lap-dances than the treatment Urie got.

WW: When did you send your latest letter to the Daily Camera? [The letter demanded an apology from the Camera.]

BW: January 2nd.

WW: Was it posted on the blog right away? Or was there a delay? [A previous Whitmer letter didn’t appear online until after Westword contacted the Camera about it.] Did it also appear in the regular print edition today?

BW: It was posted on the blog right away. As to whether or not it appeared in the print edition, I have no idea. I’d rather gut myself with a rusty fishhook than read the Camera on a regular basis, so I don’t subscribe. [The letter was printed in the paper’s January 7 edition.]

WW: Have you heard from anyone at the Camera in regard to your demand for an apology? Do you expect to hear from anyone there in the future?

BW: No, I ain’t heard from anybody. And I won’t hear from anybody. To be honest, the only reason I sent the letter was in hopes they’d be dumb enough to “lose” it again. It was a stupid enough move on their part that it seemed worth seeing if they’d replicate it.

WW: What lessons should reporters at the Camera and/or other newspapers learn from what took place?

BW: Quit the mainstream media. The fourth estate’s populated by dribbling morons of which Heath Urie’s all too typical.

WW: Would you like to share any other comments about the resolution of the case?

BW: This is what the Camera does when it comes to Ward Churchill. This is typical. Like the Rocky, they hate Ward Churchill’s fucking guts, and they’ll pass up no opportunity to slime all over him. It’s this kind of sleazy horseshit that’s pissed me off throughout the so-called scandal, and it’s exactly what led to my attempt at giving them a taste of their own medicine on the Try-Works.

The only thing atypical about this incident is the stunning incompetence of Heath Urie. It’s one thing to attempt to smuggle in recording devices and rush a closed room to provoke a gotcha journalism incident. I expect no less when dealing with the Denver/Boulder media. But to file charges based on an insane, self-contradictory police report is something else entirely. I feel almost bad doing this, since Urie seems a beer or two shy of a six-pack, but I kind of owe him a hearty round of thanks. I can lecture about the hypocrisy of the local media until my eyes bleed, but it doesn’t have anything like the impact of Urie’s dipshit stunt.

A few days after this exchange, Churchill provided his own replies to a similar batch of e-mail questions:

Westword: What is your response to charges being dropped against Josh Dillabaugh?

Ward Churchill: There was never any basis for filing charges against Dillabaugh in the first place. Setting aside the fact that Urie was assaulted by no one – quite the opposite, actually (see below) — Urie described Ben Whitmer, not Josh Dillabaugh, as his “assailant.” Indeed, his identification of Ben was “confirmed” by a picture snapped in the hallway by the photographer who accompanied Urie that night.

WW: Are you pleasantly surprised that charges were dropped? Or did you expect them to be by virtue of witnessing the incident?

WC: Actually, I’d like to have seen it go to court. That way, the bald-faced nature of Urie’s lies would have ended up a matter of official record. And that, in turn, would have served to shed a bit of very useful light on the Camera’s editorial defense of the guy, as well as its broader editorial posture.

WW: Were you interviewed by representatives of the Boulder Police Department in relation to the charges?

WC: Nope. Nor by the campus cops, although I was standing within a few feet of the “investigating officers” at a couple of points while they were on the “scene.” That in itself would have made for some interesting testimony when I took the stand at trial, doncha think?

WW: Do you think charges should have been filed against Heath Urie, the reporter with the Boulder Daily Camera?

WC: Given the daintiness of the “standards” applied in bringing charges against Dillabaugh, Urie should definitely have been charged with assaulting Ben Whitmer. This is to say that when Urie came barging into the room, Ben put up his hand, palm toward Urie, and told Urie to stop. Urie then walked into Ben’s hand, and tried to keep moving forward (i.e., to push Ben backwards or out of his way).

My own view is that this is all chickenshit, pure and simple. But, since Urie, the cops, and the DA all opted to play by such rules, Urie should have been charged with assaulting Ben and possibly Dillabaugh.

He should also have been charged with menacing me (he was headed directly towards me when he ran into Ben’s hand), harrassment (he came charging right up into my face later, during the break, despite having been repeatedly told that I didn’t wish to speak with him), trespassing (he entered a closed session in a reserved room after being told he was barred from doing so), and something on the order of creating a disturbance (demanding his “right” to interview me right in the middle of my trying to deliver my lecture).

WW: Benjamin Whitmer has asked for an apology from Camera representatives in the wake of the charges being dropped. Do you think the newspaper should issue a formal apology? If not, how do you think the paper should respond?

WC: Apologies are owed by the Camera not only to Whitmer, and even more so to Dillabaugh, but to everybody in the room that night — including yours truly — and to its readers. Any reputable newspaper would already have issued them. But, hey, we’re talking about the Daily Camera. So neither the word “reputable” nor the word “newspaper” really applies.

WW: How would you characterize your treatment by the Camera?

WC: Truth is, I’ve received better treatment from the Klan.

WW: Are you teaching your class at CU this semester? Do you feel that the first class last semester was a success?

WC: It’s a year-long deal, so we’ll simply pick up during spring semster where we left off in the fall. And, yes, I’d consider the fall semester to have been a resounding success. It was, moreover, a genuine delight.

The rest.

Mr. Urie can wax philosophical all he wants, but charges have been dropped. His version of events has been found lacking by Boulder’s DA. And she’s known to buy just about fucking anything.

Update: Just noticed that Mr. Martin’s whining because he didn’t manage to worm his way into this story. Hey, maybe next time, you fucking parasite.

Update II: I like Michael Roberts a lot, but c’mon, don’t tell me that lapdance line shouldn’t have gone in the print edition. That motherfucker was solid gold.

All right, so somehow I seemed to have blundered into some fantastic dreamscape wherein Denver actually has an alternative media source.

And even more fantastic, it’s fucking Westword.

Not only do they include a fairly relevant — albeit a little light on analysis — piece providing a local angle on the usage of trigger-happy mercenaries in Iraq this week, they lead with a profile of two of my favorite people: Glenn Spagnuolo and Glenn Morris. Even though it contains some really, really stupid errors — such as calling Colorado AIM “a tiny, and disavowed, splinter of that original organization [AIM]” — it ain’t a hatchet job. In fact, overall, it’s a fairly fucking impressive bit of journalism, especially compared what’s usually churned out in our backwater burg.

Did I mention I’m talking about Westword?

They even mention anarchism without the obligatory middle-brow, cowtown sneer.

I ain’t gonna start buying stock or anything, but how fucking cool would it be to have an actual, well, alternative to the non-stop, greasy, callous-fisted handjob provided by our local papers?

The throng of demonstrators — 500 according to police, 1,500 according to protest organizers — had taken over the intersection of 15th and Stout streets, unfurling banners and emptying a bucket filled with fake blood and dismembered baby dolls. As dozens of officers in full riot gear approached and camera crews jockeyed for shots, drums and Native American chants steeled the resolve of the protesters. Glenn Morris, who’s been leading efforts against Denver’s annual Columbus Day Parade for almost twenty years, urged everyone who was “prepared to be arrested” to stay close, while supporters cheered from the sidewalks.

But this direct action wasn’t going quite the way the other lead organizer, Glenn Spagnuolo, had envisioned. The original Transform Columbus Day plan had called for as many as a hundred protesters to burst through barricades along the parade route. After this first group of less-resistant individuals — the elderly, the handicapped, people not as willing to risk bodily harm — was swept up by police, a second wave of activists would enter the street and use what Spagnuolo had described as “more hard-core sitting lockdown maneuvers” to stall the parade even longer. But the demonstrators had moved too early; the parade was still three blocks away. Anticipating such a display, officers quickly sealed off a one-block radius and surrounded the protesters with a wall of uniforms.

Now about fifty activists sank to the street in three sit-down circles, using the proper hand grips and leg locks they’d been taught in training sessions. Earlier in the week, Spagnuolo had declared that “the time to talk is over,” since many Native Americans and their supporters consider a celebration of Columbus deeply, unredeemably offensive. But his expression changed from determined to strained as he watched police efficiently dismantle each of the circles and haul the demonstrators off to nearby Denver County Sheriff’s Department buses. If this kept up, their blockade would be over before it even started. Standing near the police, Morris and Spagnuolo — or “the Glenns,” as they’re often referred to by associates — consulted with Russell Means. Even at 68, Means still commands attention as the man who led the American Indian Movement’s militant occupation of Wounded Knee on the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation in 1973. But AIM of Colorado is just a tiny, and disavowed, splinter of that original organization.

“What should we do?” Morris asked. They tried to speak softly, but the screams of a female protester whose leg was in a police pressure hold made talking difficult.

“I say we just rush them,” said Means. “All of us at once. Just like we did back in the old days.”

The Glenns looked at the three-deep line of police, some of them armed with black paintball guns loaded with pellets that release pepper spray. Designing a large protest is never an exact science, and this is especially true among radical groups whose general distrust of centralized authority often makes such efforts an exercise in guided chaos. There are advantages to this model, including adaptability and quick recovery from law-enforcement responses. But it also makes it difficult for those involved in the action to know what the hell is going on.

“What the hell is going on?” one protester, a young woman, shouted at Spagnuolo.

He didn’t answer. Instead, he moved to the sidewalk. “Don’t stand near me,” he whispered to his wife, Barbara. A police sergeant had pointed Spagnuolo out to other officers, who were keeping a close watch on a group of young men who’d wrapped their faces in bandannas. Spagnuolo had a white bandanna hanging around his neck, ready for tear gas. This was one of the precautions he’d urged at a planning meeting; other suggestions including packing a granola bar for a snack during arrest-processing and a credit card to secure bond quickly. He paced nervously along the sidelines. The second wave couldn’t make it into the street without pushing through some cops.

From the 2004 Columbus Day Parade protest, Spagnuolo knew that anyone who instigated contact with an officer, even a bump with a shoulder, would be looking at a much more serious charge than a misdemeanor for refusing to vacate. That year, he and 238 others were taken into custody as part of the orchestrated arrests they’d worked out beforehand with the Denver Police Department. As they peacefully entered the parade right-of-way, they were escorted off and given a citation. The deal was designed to walk the thin line between free speech and illegal behavior. If you scream “Columbus was a murderer!” from the sidewalk, you’re protected under the First Amendment. But if you scream it in the street, are you breaking the law? That was the question that led to Spagnuolo and seven others being acquitted at trial, after which charges were dropped in the 231 other cases. Protesters declared it a major victory. Denver City Council responded by closing the loophole, passing an ordinance that makes it illegal to obstruct lawful events after a police order to move.

This year, the Transform Columbus Day Alliance skipped the advance meeting with police, and the rhetoric was much more aggressive.

As Morris began unbraiding his hair, Spagnuolo told fellow activists to head into the street on his cue. “We’re going to break that tape and take the assault charges,” he said. “That way you guys can follow and take up to the other side and go on lockdown.”

The rest.

I’ve never had much positive to say about Westword. With good reason, I like to think.

But Adam Cayton-Holland’s homage to pan-handling may’ve just won me over.

Standing with my “Ted Haggard Won’t Return My Calls” sign, I immediately feel better about what I’m doing. I have a funny message that I’m proud of, and even though I’m down on my luck, maybe old homeless Adam can brighten someone’s day with a chuckle or two. Ha, ha, man, that Haggard was a freak, huh?

Several cars do slow as drivers take note of the sign and laugh. One driver even slaps a passenger on the shoulder and points to the sign. Nobody gives me any money, but at least they aren’t ignoring me.

Then a beat-up brown Chevy pulls up. The fat, mustachioed driver who looks vaguely like Super Mario reads over my sign carefully, his lips moving with every word, and when he finally finishes, his face explodes into several violent and oddly beautiful shades of crimson. He points out the sign to his wife, and she appears just as flustered. In the back seat, two young children, a boy and a girl, start looking around, their craniums swiveling like bobbleheads as they try to determine what’s triggered the change in the collective mood inside the car. Then the father rolls down the window.

“You think you’re so fucking funny,” Super Mario yells, fresh flecks of spittle escaping his mouth. “You fucking asshole! You fucking piece of shit. You fucking disrespectful fuck!”

Fuck, fuck, shit, damn, ass, fuck — the man belches a neighborhood’s worth of swear jars at me as I stand there with my Haggard sign at the intersection, saying nothing, doing nothing, just taking it. It’s amazing how quickly the avoiding-eye-contact table has turned.

Mercifully, the light changes from red to green and the man zooms off, still swearing, still spitting, and now revealing a silver Jesus fish on the back of his Chevy.

Easy, fella, I think. Suck your minister’s cock with that mouth?

Keep reading.

One Bryan Lee, stone-cold nailing Westword in their letters this week.

Alternative newsweeklies should be an alternative to something. Westword isn’t. Our media in this country have become one long, loud sustained barrage of sensational, lowbrow drek. It’s like a perpetual-motion shit machine that just cranks non-stop, 24/7, without ever letting up for five minutes, and Westword has become just another incoherent, screeching voice in the cacophony. For the love of all that is even remotely tasteful, brain up already.

Keep reading.